MS. GRAVEYARD DIRT

Beltane Resurrection Bread Sale, by Ms. Graveyard Dirt

My dearest Pampushky, it’s with the greatest fucking honor and immeasurable amounts of dubious joy to finally offer you all a piece of Mother Dirty’s cock-devotional magic. These proud’n’erect loaves of traditional Ukrainian bread were ritually baked on Beltane with tremendous amounts of love using the most earth and animal-friendly ingredients I could get my hands on.

Key points of the 12+ hour paskathon were documented in previous journal entries, so if you’re interested in learning more about my cock-shaped Resurrection Bread be sure to check out: Beltane Baking, Resurrection Bread Scrying, Paska Sponge, Chthonic Cunt, Beltane Fuck, and Communion.

#01 (COCK) = 532g @ £2.50 GBP / $4.04 USD - SOLD!
POSTAGE: £4.30 GBP (UK)

#02 (COCK) = 360g @ £2.00 GBP / $3.23 USD - Available!
POSTAGE: £2.70 GBP (UK), £4.82 GBP (EU), £7.98 GBP / $12.34 USD (INTERNATIONAL)

#03 (COCK) = 296g @ £1.50 GBP / $2.42 USD - SOLD!
POSTAGE: £2.70 GBP (UK)

#04 & #05 (TITTIES) = 313g @ £1.50 GBP / $2.42 USD - SOLD!
POSTAGE: £2.70 GBP (UK)

I used my trusty digital kitchen scale and Royal Mail’s price finder to determine shipping. If either are wrong in their calculation I’ll immediately refund any difference; I hate being overcharged for shipping, so I won’t pull that shit on you. I will ship internationally, but I’ll need to thoroughly dry out your loaf so it doesn’t get moldy, and I can’t be held accountable if custom seizes your parcel so please be aware of your importing laws when purchasing things out of your country.

To nab yourself a cock - or a pair of titties! - all you gotta do is contact me. Email’s preferred (graveyarddirt{AT}gmail{dot}com), although a private message or a comment is fine. Please let me know which number - or numbers! - you’re after, what country you’re in and what email address I can send a PayPal invoice to. Due to the perishable nature of this sale I strongly recommend all UK and EU buyers to promptly pay for their bread so it can be sent as soon as effin’ possible!

Any questions? Don’t be afraid to ask.